All, My Thoughts

My Thoughts Tuesday – 10/20/15

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“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” Ephesians 3:20-21 ® NKJV
I have a confession: I’m afraid to dream big.

When I decided to become an author, it was because I felt that God blessed me with the talent and I wanted to submit it to Him to be used for His glory. In retrospect, that was an easy decision to make.

When I made a New Year’s resolution to finish a book for the pleasure of saying “I wrote a book,” that decision was easy as well. Now, I don’t mean that it took me little time to complete, but on the grand scheme of life, writing a 116pg book was simple. When the publisher rejected said book, after prayer I decided to self-publish it. Again, easy.

But then friends and family began to suggest that I seek an agent. That I see how much farther my career could go if I published traditionally
And. I. Quaked.

I was unnerved. Shouldn’t I be happy with the amount of sales I saw by publishing independently? Wasn’t it true that God could help 1 single person who read my novella?

All of it was true, but what was also true was I was afraid what could happen if I sought an agent and went the route of traditional publishing. One person in my life suggested that my books could be turned into movies and I immediately shot it down. Because that’s like a one in a million chance, right?

​But didn’t God tell us with Him all things are possible?

But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
Matthew 19:26 ® NKJV
So why was I afraid to dream big? To believe that an agent would want to represent me? To believe that some publishing company believed my stories were sellable? Why was I afraid to dream big?

Because, deep down, I didn’t have faith in myself. I didn’t have faith that God gifted me. Because doesn’t that sound pretentious to believe we’ve been gifted by God? But God’s word is clear: we are gifted with spiritual gifts and talents. Not one or the other, but both. To be used for His glory.

So today, I’m taking the chance and dreaming big. Will you?

Be blessed and dream big,
Toni

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